A late update

1 Jan

I promised myself to post to my blog before the end of the year – so I don’t have much time.
-Failed-

Clueless!

The obvious thing is to write about the New Year and its meaning. The endings and beginnings. I don’t have a good handle on that but I can take a metaphorical swing at it.

Endings: I visited my mother the week before Christmas. Her mind is deteriorating. Oh, she is has medical problems but is healthy in the areas that count for longevity – good lung and heart. Unlikely to have a stroke or heart attack. While she complains – a lot – she was feeling better given the amount of energy and time spent fussing at me and the Mrs.

Let see, just to name the highlights, I need to lose that gut, we spend too much money, we are wasteful because we keep turning on the lights to see, I used the wrong trash can, and I put coffee grounds in with the regular trash! With her memory going we would discuss these issues to where I thought they were resolved, but he next day it was all new to her. It was like the movie Groundhog Day.

I feel guilty for getting so upset with her, but there are those old buttons she knows how to push. Didn’t yell or do anything mean, mostly sulked.

Lost opportunities: So many regrets. It would be nice to pass along all the life lessons I have learned to my children, but as the years go by it is clear they have to make their own mistakes. What is my job? Keeping them from making too big of mistakes, catch them when they fall or help pick them up. Not sure I doing so well. I see the failures, not the successes.

Cats: Nothing to do with the New Year that I can see. May be too subtle or I’m too close.

We have one cat that is relatively fearless. If I ry to get him to shoo so I can get into a box he is on and he just stares at me. Literally I have to pick him up and move him. Other cats in the house hear me coming, crouch down and scamper off. One does this regularly, other occasionally. My suspicion is that if they are in a good position to trip me, they stay put. I know they think my job is to rub them on demand and to open doors.

Tomorrow will be another year.

One Response to “A late update”

  1. Wendy January 1, 2012 at 10:23 am #

    Fuck cats!

    Happy New Year’s my kind friend! You’re truly one of the kindest souls I know (Online or otherwise). I hope one day you’ll allow yourself to believe this. XO

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: